How not to get spoilered this Wrestlemania week: A guide for non-American fans

It’s that time of year again: Wrestlemania.

This article is aimed at those readers based in the UK and anyone living east of the Americas because WWE decided to create an amazing spectacle that showcases phenomenal athleticism, drama, action and ties the ends of so many stories we’ve been invested in for months, maybe years.

WWE also decided to have this event on a Sunday night at 7pm which means for everyone else it’s after midnight in the early hours of a Monday morning.

Yeah, the rest of the world have jobs or school to go to. Way to be dicks to us.

Back in the day we just had someone tape the show or watch a Sky Box Office repeat…or do what I did and just watch Raw or Smackdown to gradually find out what happened.

I lived a tragic childhood.

Technology has advanced to a point where we can find things out instantly and we don’t need to look for it. You could tap that Twitter icon on your phone and innocently spot a tweet like 21-1, put the pieces together and watch Wrestlemania XXX with a sense of despair (or at least pray what you read was a troll tweet). I’m still sore about finding out about AJ Styles’s WWE debut via someone’s Facebook cover photo.

Thanks a fucking bunch.

Anyway, here are someways to stop yourself getting ‘spoilered’ this week and beyond.

  1. hide, delete or make it a ball ache to use your social media
  2. Turn data off on your phone completely.
  3. If you really need to feed that urge to browse and look at things, get a Pinterest account and look at cool stuff, if you like football or gadgets or DIY….actually don’t search ‘DIY’ but you see my point.
  4. If you have to use public transport to travel places, you’re usually on social media. Just listen to music or play a game. Tetris and Pac-Man are forever legend.
  5. Avoid talking to people.
  6. Talk to people who don’t care about wrestling
  7. Actually do your job/study. Get off Facebook (but stay on this site).  
  8. Plan when you’ll end up watching ‘Mania and if you know you can make it to when you get home at 7pm; until then, just go about your day.
  9. If you’re awake on Sunday night and you’re tempted to watch the PPV, watch a film instead. A film won’t last five hours and you’ll probably go to bed happier.
  10. Ten! Ten! Ten!

So, it’s simple: be less of a rank virgin and get on with your life until you have a chance to watch the wrestling.

Thanks again for reading. Take care!

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