WWE has announced the immediate termination of their ‘Be A STAR’ anti-bullying campaign, following widespread outrage regarding reports that John ‘Bradshaw’ Layfield ‘hazed’ Mauro Ranallo into leaving the company.
A spokesperson for WWE said in a statement: “When you really think about it, it was kind of stupid for our company to have an anti-bullying stance, since our product often makes use of violence, necrophilia and arson – and that guy’s running for Mayor!”
“The situation with John ‘Bradshaw’ Layfield left us with no choice but to strongly consider his position within the company, and we can confirm that he is now heading up our new ‘Be A BULLY’ campaign, effective immediately.”
Mr Layfield, who spoke to the press while forcing James Ellsworth to “dance sexy” in his underwear for refusing to tie the laces on his Velcro Reeboks, said: “It brings me great pride to know that I’ll have a role in shaping the future of the company.
“It’s going to be tough. Backstage is an awful place to be these days – the other day Finn Balor dropped the soap in the showers, and no one even messed with his anus. Back in the day, Stan Hansen would have had his fist up there, while I played the ball game.
“I’m going to do the best I can to weed out the bad eggs in the company – it’s 2017, there’s no reason for anything to be any different than it was in the 80’s. The ‘Be A Bully’ initiative is going to ensure that the wres- I mean, sports entertainment business will continue to promote sexism, prejudice and insensitive conducts for decades to come.”
WWE executive Paul ‘People like you don’t deserve to be champion’ Levesque was unavailable for comment.
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